She creeps up, slowly, quietly. With hindsight one can sense a heaviness beginning to steal through their body, an unconscious withdrawal from the dynamism of life. But when the realisation hits, it’s too late.
Grief has arrived.
The most insipid visitor that had no invitation yet effortlessly fills every aspect of being.
Grief for what has been. For what could have been. For who we might have been. For how we could have held each other for longer, with more love. For rejecting ourselves. For unrealised love. For not knowing how to be present. For being too busy. For the seemingly insurmountable gap between reality and our dreams. For the ephemeral movement of time.
For not bathing in the beauty of each second.
It makes it hard to breathe, hard to move, hard to connect, hard to see, hard to imagine and almost impossible to believe that anything else exists.
Its profound heaviness tugs on each cell – in our heart, our lungs, our limbs, as they weep tears that release the pain they have held for us while we’ve continued to try to meet our life’s demands, while we’ve lost time in a pretence.
And when we finally give in to the uncontrollable wave, hide from the world and be with grief, her energy becomes wild and deeply magical. Like a storm rolling across the ocean she sweeps through us, cleansing each cell with rigorous intent and defiant possibility.
The thundering vibration creates space deep within our beautiful soul offering us the potential of being fully alive, of being divinely human, of experiencing all the possibilities life has to offer.
And our eyes begin to weep. Salty tears. Sweet tears. Heavy tears. Warm tears. Tears that flow from our heart to our eyes and meet the world with a knowingness, a loveliness, a melancholy and an incredible vulnerability.
Tears that seem to say to life itself, ‘I’m ready to meet your eternal absolution’.
And then our whole body sighs. Relief, release.
And suddenly the clouds part and life becomes a little bit lighter, a little bit sweeter, a little bit more precious and infinitely more magical, more colourful.
‘The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears’. The Healing Rainbow of Grief.